Just in case somebody is interested. I've now installed merlin's 384.16 firmware and switched my main router to AP mode. Because I was bored I decided to give AI mesh another go, changed the second router from repeater to ai mesh node, and everything seems to be working as expected now. Don't know if it's the mode switch or the fact that i'm using merlin's latest firmware but so far so good. So, AP with an AI Mesh node seems ok, i hope it stays that way.
[edit, and i just found this out about the sonos, so wireless N Only mode will not work properly:
https://support.sonos.com/s/article/126?language=en_US
Wireless-N and Wireless-AC routers should work with Sonos as long as they are still broadcasting over B and G WiFi. Most Wireless-N and AC routers should do this unless manually configured not to.
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When you move around the house and your GSM roams to another node, are you still able to reach your sonos?
Wonder if your original issue is similar to what we are facing here : https://www.snbforums.com/threads/unable-to-reach-local-clients-after-roaming.62020/#post-560953