I think I BE cursed.
So the BE98 arrives. Great! Unpack it, check everything. Damn, it's really one
FUGLY beast. Wife saw it and the third thing she said was "FACEHUGGER!!" I'll spare you the first two things she said.
So I plug it in, turn it on and so many LEDs fire up on the thing, I think I am in a karaoke joint. Whatever, I knew what I was getting into. With dual 10G ports, allegedly better coverage, a faster processor, this thing is gonna fly. So what if its wave 1, costs a bomb and a stupid alpha purchase is what I told myself. Can't wait to install Gnutron's firmware and take this thing for a spin!
30 seconds after plugging it in and the LED disco show, I hear a loud zappy "POP!". My heart sinks.
The router is dead.
Its completely dead, no lights, no activity, the antenna don't even twitch like how you'd expect a dead roach's leg to. I check the wall outlet, maybe a breaker tripped or something? Nope, outlets fine. I take the power brick and give it the sniff test and yup, smells like the last time I over cooked chicken wings in soy sauce and tomatoes and accidentally burnt some arm hair. Not good.
Pull out the multimeter and check the fuse in the plug (yeah, we have fuses in the plugs where I'm at). Fuse checks fine. Power up the brick and test its output. 0.8VDC. Brick is clearly toast.
Thing is, I have no idea if it took the router down with it. Or worse still, if the router took it down.
So I call Asus. In 2 mins I'm talking to a human. Dude checks the serial number, listens to my explanation on what happened and tells me to bring the power brick and the router down to their service center. "Don't worry sir, we'll check and if anything is dead, we will replace it one-for-one on the spot". Wow. Didn't expect that.
Hop into a cab and I rush down to their service center as I didn't want to lose time; the whole reason for getting this router was because my ISP contract was up and they offered to upgrade me to 10Gbps at a slightly lower cost than my current 1gbps plan. They would have to change the ONT, which they would be doing on Friday, so I wanted the router ready and good to go for the change.
Along the way, the cab gets into a fender bender with a goods van that has the words, I kid you not, "For all your IT needs" plastered on it's side.
Ironic coincidence I think. Would make a decent bar story.
Anyways, I get to the Asus service centre and within minutes, I'm with the service dude. I explain what happened;
Me: "...yada yada yada... unpack.... yada yada... haven't even used it.... yada yada... POP!"
Service center dude (after a 10 second silence): "Pop?"
Me: "No, not "pop" but POP! And the brick smells like cooking plastic in sesame oil."
Service center dude proceeds to sniff the router and then plugs it in on his bench power supply. After being blinded by the LEDs like the coming of Gandalf the white, router boots up. Dude says he'll let it run for a few minutes to make sure everything is ok while he gets a replacement brick. He picks up the toasted brick, sniffs it and I could see the regret in his eyes when he did.
Service center dude: "The power supply did it's job."
I'm sure it did mate.
So he tests the new brick with the router, its boots up fine and doesn't zap anything. He asks who my ISP is and offers to help me set up the router. I decline, I didn't want to bother explaining that I was gonna nuke it with my own variation of LD&D's nuclear option and flash it with some Merlin magic after. He insists. I decline.
So all's done, I got a new power brick and instead of heading home, I decided to visit some family who live pretty close to the service centre for some tea. I go over and we hang out, having some delicious tea while I explain what happened and why I was in the area. Someone asks me how much I spent on the router. I told em. They shake their head, look at me and say "You know the universe is giving you signs yeah?"
Anyways, done with the delicious tea (seriously, you haven't had tea until you try the zillion variations of tea you find in Asia) and I head back to play with my new digital network toy.
Back home, I plug in the router to a different and verified safe wall outlet. I swear, I was totally expecting sparks and zaps like when the terminator travels thru time. But thankfully nothing nasty happened and router boots up fine. And I spend the next 60 mins trying to access the router GUI login page. 192.168.1.1? Nope. asusrouter.com? Nope. Https ports? Nope. I try and try but I cannot access the login page.
I reset the router. I download the Asus router app. I try on my phone. I try on my Mac via ethernet and wifi. I check Asus support site and of course, snbforums. Its always shows that there is a connection but no IP address assigned.
FML.
An already long story short, I finally discover that I had set my Mac to a static IP/router/DNS address and the BE98 was using 192.168.50.1. GRRRRR!!!!
Never mind. Have a beer. You deserve it at this point.
So I finally get into the GUI. OMG, the GUI is as ugly as the router is outside. I like red and black, but this colour scheme on the router is as bad as a custom vinyled personalised Lamborghini.
Do my thing and flash it with Gnutron's firmware. Still ugly, but fine. Whatever. I proceed to set the router up. I spend a good 30 mins setting the basics up, but good lord, if the GUI wasn't as ugly as bleeding eyes... And then it hit me. I remember Merlin had both a ROG and NON ROG version of his firmware. I checked, and Gnutron had the same. How did I miss this?!?!?!? I could be wrong but I don't think one loses any functionality by using the non ROG version, but I don't care if I lose the ROG features if it means I don't have to look at this monstrosity of a GUI. I reflash with the non ROG version and thank goodness, my settings migrated and the GUI doesn't look like a red light district.
So I'm almost done. The router is more or less set up, Should I now move it to its permanent home near the ONT? I am super particular about my cable management and I am using these spiral PVC cable management tube thingys that have this really cool look and are super neat. They have this H.R Giger look about them and the wife actually likes them, she calls it the "Alien" look. They're great but can be a bitch to deal with.
"Learn your lesson Tripper. Heed advise. Leave the router near the Mac for now until Friday when the ONT is changed and then you can set it up fully, neatly and finish this project off." All this I tell myself and yes, I will try to be smart and leave things well enough alone till Friday.
My phone rings. It's the ISP customer service (CS).
ISP CS: "Sir. We regret to inform you that we have to reschedule your service installation because of ...blah...blah...blah..."
Me: ........
I think I whimpered.
ISP CS : "Sir?"
Me: "... How lo...<choke>... How long before...."
ISP CS: "Typically 2 weeks but it can be longer. We will keep you informed!
"
I put down the phone. I stared at my screen. I couldn't think. I couldn't face the fact on how much I spent on the router, what I just went thru, went against my gut feel...I just couldn't.
I sat there for awhile.
The wife walks past me, goes to the router and places the cable management tube thingy aside the router and sniggers.
Wife: "Now it really looks like a dead facehugger!!!"
I then realised why I had that sinking feeling in my chest.
