Certainly doable.My needs are pretty simple, reliability and performance . [...]Really just want to make sure there is minimal lag in my own internal network between machines while streaming internal UHD 4K at full bit rate, and that I’m effectively utilizing the bandwidth of my service for gaming/streaming across 4-6 clients.
First, a note on wiring your APs. Long story short, you want to dedicate whole Cat6 runs just for your remote wireless APs (ie. no APs being run off of your 8-port access switches). That will ensure as little link saturation on the LAN as possible during LAN and internet streaming.
Then, at a minimum, you want to make sure your "core" switch has enough ports and is proven to never be a source of flakiness (baring physical failure). Again, I'd go Cisco SG or HPE OfficeConnect. You can keep your unmanaged 8-port Netgear access switches in play for now.
For the router, again, regardless of whether it's wireless or wired, you want it to be able to NAT at least 1.5Gb/s and handle all the concurrent sessions for ~70 clients, which, if each had an average of 100 sessions to be safe, would be about 7,000 sessions or so. Most any well-reviewed wired router will handle that; example: EdgeRouter 4 (not that impossible to setup, tons of materials online). Or, you could run a pair of high-end all-in-ones, RT-AC86U's or even the R7800's (albeit they have the in-tandem shortcomings that I explained above). Either approach should allow you to meet your goals.
For wifi, if you did two all-in-ones, one as a router, one as an AP, it would be taken care of, built-in. If you do APs, the best bang for the buck might be a pair of $90 TP-Link EAP245 APs, optionally with the OC200 controller for seamless roaming for your wifi phone calling. Other options, per my guide, would be Cisco WAP571's or 581's, which can be run clustered, no extra controller necessary, but they are a fair bit pricier. There's also UniFi, but they can't be run as standalone APs and setup may be a bit complex for your liking.
Again, tons of options, but as long as you follow the above approach, even roughly, you'll have the network performance you need.
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